3 days with no iPhone

iFriday came and went whizzing by. I was busy in preproduction for my live show on Saturday. QuickTime Broadcaster was flinging bits to the server. Audio was verified. I was contemplating adding a camera to the mix but the upstream is locked at 40K. Almost too slow to get video and audio out that looks and sounds reasonable. I packed the mics, stands, mixer and all the cables. Video was staying home this time. Knowing that it was all going to work I set out to for Roger’s going away party that started at 4. I got there and everyone was like, “dude, let’s see your iPhone…” I told them, “I’d rather hang out with you guys in the brewery where there is no line (and no charge) for beer then to stand in line waiting for “that thing.”

We go by the Apple store on Stockton on the way back from Drake’s. We… sorry I mean I. It’s dark meaning it’s after 9. There’s a crazy long line still. Somebody recognizes me and we talk about MacBreak Tech for a bit. “Are you doing a show on the iPhone they ask?” I wish I could carry a Magic Eight Ball with me because this would be the perfect thing to have answer that question. There’s a 20:1 possibility that the timeless joke “Outlook Not So Good” would reveal in the window under the ball.

The train takes me toward Hawaii but I get off long before we run out track. The 800 dollar doorbell vibrates a question, “didja iPhone?” T9ing back “natch…” returns a sad face.

The next morning happens all too soon. I’m full of jitters. Just like April showers bring May flowers, live shows fill me with butterflies. I’m almost out the door before I realize I’ve forgotten the doorbell. I’m prone to forget it because it’s the bane of my existence. It never rings happy. It’s only asks “when” or “help” or “how soon?” I only use it to “ding dong” let me in.

The frickin train isn’t on time so I miss my 9 AM crew call. Okay it’s just me, crew of one, but I’m peeved about missing my time. I’m sure there’s a Saturday morning line 200 feet above me as I pass through Stockton station. I might have speculated how long it will be before there is a iPhone sans the phone. In other words a better iPod. MacWorld I think. They will have sold 10 million by then and they’ll have the next next ready then. The phone-less iPod would sell 10X over the phone. But I don’t speculate that because I’m studying for the show. Carter, Cranston, Smoky and the Bandit…. it all relates trust me.

I get to the office and pack the car with the audio gear. I’m late already but I check my email. There’s a PDF of the SFgate showing Scott Borne punching that thing in a box into the air like he’s just won a marathon. I have no words. I close the Mac, bag it and I scurry off to talk about constitutional amendments. I feel like haven’t studied before the final test. Dang butterflies.

Set up is automatic. Everyone is helping so it goes fast. The intern is off on errands for me. “Hey, that’s a Mac?! I thought we were recording this on your iPhone?” “that thing doesn’t have that feature.” Sure we could call my real fake phone number and record it there but I’m sure it won’t record 2 hours….

The session starts off with iPhone commentary. Nobody will leave this alone. Again, I have no words for that thing….

The show goes okay. Nico shows up right before we start so he’s on the show telling stories. After an hour I’m spent. The butterflies are gone and I need food. I go to go and while going there is a paper tacked to the cork board. iMania or something like that is the headline. It cannot be escaped that thing. Another hour later the show is over. Tear down is fast. On the way out I notice that a guy at the bar has one and has drawn a crowd. Sucks to be that guy right now I’m thinking.

I drop off the gear, check the feedback to find that the live feed didn’t work. I quick check to find that the feed in fact wasn’t working [monday it is working again… grrr]. I don’t care. Too late to do anything about it. I jump in the Fresno bound SUV. Before we get the Oakland side of the Bay Bridge I’m out. But the conversation up front sounds like “iPhone….. blah blah blah… iPhone…. bzz bzz bzz iPhone…. la la la,” in my dream state. The door bell in my pants buzzes me awake as we pass the power windmills. It’s a ShaunO text… “howz your iPhone?” I doze back to never land without replying.

The day passes with swimming, bbq, watermelon wheat beer and cigars. I’m not talking anytime soon so I indulge. The after eating banter is pebbled with texts that are coming in to phones and my doorbell. Dave got an iPhone and ShaunO found one with no one waiting in line. We all laugh at the “keebard sux” comment. Thought that thing had speel chekcing?

Going home the next morning is that thing talk-less. Finally. My super power is being able to nap whenever so I do that because it makes driving kinda like time traveling. You close your eyes for what seems like a second then there you are. During that fuzzy time between asleep and alert I hear “that’s the same size as my nano and it’s always full?! Does it share that memory with everything?” This is going to be a problem I can see. I fake it until I’m not until thinking we’ll pull over for a break. I want an ice tea. There was no break.

I get dropped off at the office. I post the show and start working on the next one. It’s about Mac’s. Which means real information. No guessing. Speculation free. No endless banter about nothing. I train home later and stop off at the local. The guy sitting next to me turns out to be the storage manager for the Internet Archive. It’s an interesting conversation. that thing is never brought up.

Monday. iDon’t like Mondays. Ha. Bob Geldoff probably has a fever for that thing. The N is back to its old end so I jump off at Stockton to see how many people are lined up to spend $649.91 or 541.42. Geez louise. There is potentially $25,996.40 if each of them bought two 20 minutes after the aluminum box opens the doors. While I check the math another $3,249.55 lines up. I have to go. The next train is mercifully next.

On the way to get eggs (then ultimately the office) I realize I did the math wrong. I forgot plans, 911 access, taxes and other fees. It all adds up ludicrous numbers. But even more if they rip the Phone out and go without. Thinking about money reminds me that rent and a MUNI pass are needed. I fork over an 8G iPhone that lets me stay and ride another 30 days. Funny perspective.

Middle of Monday. I’ve been working on MacBreak Tech all day. It’s been a weird day because all the top level stuff is all about that thing. It’s in the way but it’s not annoying, just in the way. I feel like I’m missing out somehow. Like I should be holding that thing like all the other chatty bloggist. Then again why?

I myself have said, “I will NOT be a pioneer ever again! I’m tired of paving the way. I’m over being the go to guy for all the answers. I want to be able to honestly say I DON’T KNOW!” I have a rule that says “no beta software will be used in production!” And another rule that says, “don’t buy 1.0 of anything!” One more rule says, “wait for the other people to install and report on how the upgrade went before you do the upgrade!”

The doorbell buzzed again. Something about a stork making flight plans for Seattle in February. Whatever that means….