This marks the beginning of the 4th year of not having a month-to-month income. Wow! Four years of no steady jorb. I’m asking myself, how the fuck did I do that?
I woke up remembering that I’ve been fucking about for the last three years. This comes about because I finally left San Francisco. I should have left when I closed my company. I should have left when I didn’t go sailing. I should have kept going when I exited Seattle. I should have never come back after last December. But I was blinded by a routine. My old life. And I wanted it back. To the point of pretending that I had that life.
During this period of my life I’ve sent out 1000’s of resumes only to hear “no” on a handful of ocasions. The remaining might as well have gone into the bin for all I know. This was serious time wasted as far as I’m concerned. Looking back I shouldn’t have sent one. Some of that time was spent freelancing. Working hard for 4 weeks on some video project, getting paid late, then spending it all without seeing a dime.
It’s time to reset, restart, finish. “Real artists ship,” Steve said. I’m smitten with the buzz that’s going around where people are bypassing the need of a deal or a job and instead doing their own thing.
I am a flake. I know that. I know it all too well. It’s time to fix that problem. To become 4.1 or whatever that new person is. I don’t think I’ll ever be that arrogant don’t take no for any reason person ever again. But I can be an older wiser version of that image. Not as harsh.
In my next company, whatever that is, I won’t have “the office” like I did in SF. No way. It’s such an outdated model for doing business. Better to have it all virtual making passive income by exploiting a roboto 24/7. In otherwords, free money.
But most of all, I wish I would have gone sailing, seen more of the worlld, and showed up at all those parties I was invited to where ever they where. So with that, I have waited long enough. It starts today. With a plan for doing that tomorrow.